Changing your expectations in a relationship is a difficult thing to do. It's hard to accept that the relationship isn't going the way you want it to go. Your partner might not be giving you what you need, or even worse, they might not be paying enough attention to you at all.

The first step is admitting that there’s a problem and then understanding that it isn't your fault. You should stop blaming yourself for not being good enough because it could lead to resentment in the relationship which can really destroy any chance of happiness for both partners.

Resentment is a powerful emotion that can lead to a lot of ills in a relationship. It can be present from the very start, or it may have been introduced later on.

In either case, resentment is not an emotion that you should take lightly. To protect your relationship, you need to identify the causes of resentment and try to address them before they go too far.

When it comes to resentments, they can arise from feeling like your partner doesn't share the same level of commitment as you do. For instance, this could be because he or she has no problem going out with friends for a drink while you're home with the kids. Alternatively, it could be because she leaves clothes all over.

The resentment can be directed at the partner, or at oneself. It can be mild and fleeting, and it can also be a chronic and corrosive feeling. It may manifest as anger, envy, guilt, self-reproach, or vindictiveness.

Resentment is the result of unmet expectations or unfulfilled needs in a relationship. If you feel you are holding onto resentment in your relationship, seek out a couples therapist who can help you to deal with this and to help you navigate this with your partner. Learning how to identify the causes and address the issues can protect your relationship from leading to disconnection and isolation and a couples therapist will be a great source of support.

Relationships Redefined specializes in helping couples and individuals find fulfillment, connection, trust, and healthy communication in their relationships and offers online counseling focused in couples therapy & marriage counseling, individual therapy, premarital counseling, and intimacy and sex therapy in San Diego and all of California. Book a free 15-minute online consultation with us here!