How to Choose the Right Therapist for Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy
Feeling stuck in your relationship and wondering whether couples therapy or sex therapy could help? At Relationships Redefined, we guide individuals and couples toward clearer communication, healthier patterns, and greater intimacy. Choosing the right clinician for Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy is less about finding the “perfect” person and more about finding the one who fits your needs, feels safe, and brings the right experience.
Why the therapeutic relationship matters first
We prioritize a warm, open therapeutic presence to help you feel safe.
"The relationship with your therapist is the first and foremost, most important thing that you're going to utilize as a tool in your therapy."
Therapy—especially Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy—relies on trust. The therapist-client relationship is the container where vulnerability, curiosity, and change happen. If you can’t feel safe to explore difficult topics, progress will stall. Prioritize warmth, nonjudgment, and a sense that the therapist holds the space for both curiosity and accountability.
Treat consultations like interviews
Treat your free consultation like an interview — look for warmth, clarity, and experience.
Book several consultations if you need to. Think of them as interviews: they should help both you and the therapist decide if this is a workable match.
Look for safety and trust: Do you feel heard, not judged?
Notice how the therapist handles multiple people in the room: Couples sessions should feel balanced and neutral.
Pay attention to chemistry: You don’t need a best friend; you need someone you can trust with vulnerability.
Specialties matter—match the therapist to your needs
Not every therapist treats every issue equally. If your core concern is sexual connection, low desire, or performance anxiety, a therapist trained in sex therapy is different than one specializing in teen therapy or child counseling. For Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy, look specifically for clinicians who list intimacy, couples work, or sexual concerns among their specialties.
Check training and credentials
Framed certifications in view — a helpful visual reminder to check a clinician's training.
Training matters. Therapists and coaches differ in scope and credentialing. For Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy you’ll typically want a licensed clinician (LMFT, LCSW, PhD, PsyD, LPC) with additional training in couples or sex therapy approaches (EFT, Gottman, sex therapy certification, Imago, etc.). Ask directly: what specific training do you have for our concerns?
Questions to bring to your consultation
What experience do you have with couples dealing with intimacy or sexual concerns?
Which therapeutic approaches do you use and why?
How do you structure sessions for couples versus individuals?
What should we expect in the first few sessions?
Do you offer online sessions or flexible scheduling?
How to know it's the right fit
Notice a clinician naming patterns and offering practical guidance — a sign of a good fit.
Signs of a good match include feeling slightly stretched but safe, the therapist's ability to name patterns without blaming, and practical tools you can try between sessions. Trust your intuition—if something feels off, it’s okay to try another consultation. Therapists are tools for change; the relationship you form with them often determines how far you’ll go.
How many consultations should I schedule before choosing a therapist?
There’s no set number—many people try two or three consultations. Treat each like an interview until you find someone who feels safe, knowledgeable, and aligned with your goals for Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy.
What credentials should a sex or couples therapist have?
Look for a licensed clinician (LMFT, LCSW, PhD, PsyD, LPC) with specific training or certification in sex therapy or couples approaches (EFT, Gottman, Imago, certified sex therapist). Also ask about ongoing education.
Can a therapist help if only one partner wants therapy?
Yes. Individual therapy can clarify patterns and prepare you for couples work. A skilled therapist or coach can help improve communication and create readiness for joint sessions when both partners are open to them.
How long until we see progress in couples or sex therapy?
Progress varies. Some couples notice better communication within a few sessions; deeper changes in intimacy often take longer and require consistent work between sessions. The right therapist will provide clear milestones and tools to track progress.
Relationships Redefined specializes in helping couples and individuals find fulfillment, connection, trust, and healthy communication in their relationships and offers online counseling focused in couples therapy & marriage counseling, individual therapy, premarital counseling, and intimacy and sex therapy in San Diego and all of California. Book a free 15-minute online consultation with us here! Make Intimacy Your Reality!
