Best Valentines Day ideas based on love languages: A guide to love language gift giving

Do you feel pressured to come up with the perfect Valentine’s Day idea? Well, here are some ideas to help you.

Why love languages are important

So let’s start with what love languages are, shall we? They were created by Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, to help us understand a way to measure how each person may indicate a preference to receive affection. Using these as a measure when shopping for your partner can show your partner that you were mindful in finding something that is unique to them and that you made the effort to really attempt to understand their needs. Here’s a list of the love languages as well as a few ideas for gift ideas to keep in mind.


Physical Touch

These individuals are recharged and energized by physical touch. This can be as simple as stroking your partner's cheek, playing with their hair, giving them a tender hug, light massages, rubbing of shoulders, holding hands or kissing.  

Gift ideas for Physical Touch

  • massage

  • visit to a spa 

  • electronic foot or body massager 

  • Chocolate covered strawberries

  • taking a dance class or pottery class together


Acts of Service

These individuals respond to being helped voluntarily. Offering to wash their car, doing the laundry, or taking out the trash will help them to feel loved. This doesn't have to be chore-related, as it can be responding with kindness, trying to be helpful, assisting your partner in an activity, and trying to demonstrate the importance of doing things together in the partnership. 

Gift ideas for Acts of Service

  • Give your parner a day off

  • Take over a list of errands

  • Take on a project your partner has been wanting to start on

  • Make them breakfast in bed

  • Prepare a candlelit dinner


Words of Affirmation

These individuals love to hear or read things that state appreciation. Giving compliments or exchanging letters can be a great way to connect with them. 

Gift ideas for Words of Affirmation

  • Sticky notes with compliments all over the house

  • Handwritten letter of admiration

  • Couples journal

  • Affirmation cards

  • Custom engraved jewelry with a personal note


Receiving Gifts

This can be similar to words of affirmation, as you can share a written note of appreciation on special occasions, pick up a stone or shell on the beach that reminded them of you, bring home small tokens from trips, this also can include monetary gifts or any price, shape, or size.

Gift ideas for Recieving Gifts

  • Handmade card

  • Memory box

  • Personalized jewelry and accessories 

  • Matching coffee mugs

  • Box of Chocolates


Quality Time 

These individuals crave undivided attention. This means putting away the technology, as hard as that is, and sitting down to have a conversation or even just being present with one another. The importance is placed on carving out time with one another for the purpose of connection.

Gift ideas for Quality Time

  • phone free date night

  • car trip

  • mini golfing

  • Couples board game or romantic card game

  • 100 piece jigsaw puzzle

Bonus gift: Intimacy Coaching with a Relationship Therapist!

Contrary to popular belief, relationship counseling is not just for those dealing with a relationship on the rocks. Meeting with a relationship therapist is a great way to heat things up and boost intimacy and romance for couples who are just simply looking to get closer and spice things up. Scheduling time to speak with a therapist meets all five love language needs while also meeting your own. 


Which Love Language are you?

Understanding your own love language is just as important in helping your relationship thrive. Communicating to your partner what you like and why is one of the best ways to increase security in your relationship. If you aren’t sure what your love language is, just answer these love language quiz questions along with your partner. You might learn something new about yourself!


Relationships Redefined specializes in helping couples and individuals find fulfillment, connection, trust, and healthy communication in their relationships and offers online counseling focused in couples therapy & marriage counseling, individual therapy, premarital counseling, and intimacy and sex therapy in San Diego and all of California. Book a free 15-minute online consultation with us here! Make Intimacy Your Reality!


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50 Shades of Relationships

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The Secret to a Strong Relationship: Celebrating Love Beyond Valentine's Day