Dating and Love In The Time of Corona: Dating Ideas & Tips
As we face this incredibly challenging time during COVID-19 and have to shelter in place, I wonder what love looks like now and what dating difficulties may be present. After several months, it’s certainly put a damper on fun date ideas. I hear many people discussing whether they are willing to go out on dates and meet people. Will that predispose them to contract COVID-19? Will it make them susceptible? While these are valid concerns, I think the larger question is if the pandemic doesn’t end, what will your plan be? How do you protect yourself, and what protocols or measures need to be in place for you to feel comfortable?
Curiously, the next question which may be posed before deciding to meet may be to ask your potential date what their “COVID card” reads. Certain precautions should be in place, certainly if you are concerned and scared about the uncertainty surrounding you. But wouldn’t it be comfortable to ask if that person has seen or been in contact with many people or traveled in the past 14 days? Depending on how good you are at reading someone, you may take them for their word or have several follow-up questions for them.
The pandemic has made us more acutely aware of our surroundings, of a heightened sense of necessary security - but to what end? A guy friend of mine expressed his frustration because it has become difficult for him to date at this particular time, as women seem to use the pandemic as an excuse not to meet up. This specific topic brought up a lot of curiosity for me... Was it due to my friend’s behavior that they just didn’t want to meet up or has the pandemic given us even yet another excuse to bow out or ghost someone politely?
In a world where we are socially isolated already by technology, and this pandemic is undoubtedly not helpful, this seems like one more readily available reason to add to the chasm. Of course, I checked in to make sure my friend’s behavior wasn’t too forward, demanding, or too laid back - all of which may be a deterrent for women. Yes, women are somewhat flippant creatures on the greater whole, but my friend didn’t seem to do anything atrocious that would have me coaching him on the art of dating. So with that said, how does one figure out what the other is comfortable with during these times without offending them? Everyone certainly should be comfortable, so let’s look at what the various situations may be to help you decide.
So, now we are in a strange stage of existence, where we connect over FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom meetings, texting each other frequently and, of course, the rarity of a phone call should we daringly decide to hear the other’s voice. What’s the point of dating, may I ask? Potentially to be in a loving and endearing relationship, where you can foster connection and probably build toward a foundation of a long, fulfilling relationship somewhere in the distant, but hopefully not so distant future.
Ok, so if the goal is a rewarding relationship, let’s look at the possibilities! Of course, this takes into account that you are still positively viewing dating as the potential to learn what you are and are not looking for in a potential future partner. Here are some questions to ask yourself, along with some ideas on how to move forward with what suits you best.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
What steps do I need to take to feel comfortable and safe? Is it a face mask and some travel hand sanitizer? Do you need additional layers of clothing? You may not feel comfortable yet and may want to have some additional virtual meetings via FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, or whatever platform of your choosing previous to meeting in person.
What questions can I ask of my potential date to inquire about their comfort level? This may not be something you thought of, but your possible date may have the same concerns that you do. Simply asking takes the guessing work away, and your partner may be very appreciative that you are considering them.
How much social distance feels comfortable? If you need a little more space, maybe a picnic in the park would be a good idea. Both parties can bring various food items, and you could either choose to share, or you can each have your own spread at a comfortable distance to still hear each other.
When you’re comfortable being around your potential match, but are concerned about the general public? Fair question! I would suggest a walk in a nearby park, on a hike, at the beach or any open area with ample nature may help to put distance between the two of you and others. You will be in control of the distancing wherever you decide to settle, or whether you choose to keep moving.
What if I’m comfortable safely distancing, but I’m not sure what to expect? Well, I would suggest holding space and relieving those expectations and enjoying the moment. I’m sure that your potential match may also feel anxious, but that is normal, and anxiety isn’t always bad. Sometimes, it’s a signal of nervous excitement, which can be a good indicator within the dating context and tells you that you are engaged and hoping that the other person is also interested.
Dating is an exciting adventure, where you both learn what you do and do not prefer in a potential partner. But there is always something to take away, so generally, it’s easier to approach them as just meeting someone to decipher if they meet most of your most essential traits or qualities. Remember, the more you know about what you ARE looking for, the better outcomes you may have. Most of the time, I come across individuals who only state what they are not looking for, but I promise that the list is much longer, and the process will become more daunting with that outlook in mind. If you don’t know where to start, you can read my blog about that process. If you need assistance getting to the part of filtering through potential partners in apps, or through various websites, there is a blog post I have about that as well. Yes, it is true, I’m trying to assist you most comprehensively by covering all of the fundamental bases. You’re welcome!
So you do have to ask, despite the challenges that may be at hand given the current circumstances, would you instead take the leap of faith that may lead to a better and more positive outcome rather than shutting people out and behaving in a manner where no one will be open to dating - leading to a distilled and tepid exchange of ongoing texts until boredom hits? If I were you, I’d be elated to have a real and engaging connection with someone you have an interest in.
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