When To Talk About Sex with Your Partner
Ever walk away from a discussion thinking you might have disclosed too much? We’ve all been there.
When Is the Best Time to Talk About Intimacy With Your Partner?
Talking about intimacy with your partner can feel daunting, but open communication is essential for fostering a deeper connection. The timing and approach of these conversations matter, and addressing your desires and needs in the right way can bring you closer as a couple.
What If You Want Something Different From Your Partner Sexually?
The best time to discuss intimacy is not during the moment itself. If you try to bring up changes or suggestions while you’re in the middle of being intimate, it can feel awkward or even create tension. Instead, the ideal times are before or after intimacy—either pre-coital or post-coital. These moments offer space to reflect and communicate without disrupting the experience.
When having these discussions, focus on what you enjoy and what makes you feel connected. For example, you might say, “I really love when we do this; it makes me feel alive and excited,” or, “It brings me so much pleasure and makes me feel more connected to you.” Positive affirmations like these not only make your partner feel appreciated but also open the door for conversations about incorporating new ideas.
How To Highlight and What To Avoid in Sexual Feedback Discussions
It’s important to frame your suggestions in a way that highlights the good things you already share, rather than focusing on what isn’t working. Avoid statements like, “I don’t like it when you do this,” and instead lean into, “I really enjoy when you do this—can we try something similar or new together?” This approach keeps the conversation encouraging and collaborative rather than critical or defensive.
After an intimate moment is a great time to reflect on the experience. You might say, “I really enjoyed when you did this. Would you be open to trying something new next time?” These moments of reflection create an opportunity to build trust and explore new ways to connect.
Remember, the goal of these conversations is to create a space where both partners feel valued and excited to grow together. Open communication is a powerful way to strengthen your emotional and physical intimacy.
If you’re finding it difficult to navigate these conversations or want to deepen your connection before involving a partner, individual therapy can be a supportive space to explore these topics. Whether you're looking for sex & intimacy therapy in San Diego or Couples therapy throughout California, there are tools and strategies available to help you communicate effectively and build a more fulfilling partnership.
Take the time to have these discussions. They can lead to greater intimacy, understanding, and excitement in your relationship.
Relationships Redefined specializes in helping couples and individuals find fulfillment, connection, trust, and healthy communication in their relationships and offers online counseling focused in couples therapy & marriage counseling, individual therapy, premarital counseling, and intimacy and sex therapy in San Diego and all of California. Book a free 15-minute online consultation with us here! Make Intimacy Your Reality!